When I think of you,
I feel pathetic.
I want to talk to you.
I don't want to be mean.
I don't want to tell you
how terrific it is to have what you
want.
I don't want to make things harder
And God, I know it will.
But I think of you

a lot.

You no longer make me insecure.
I don't feel threatened,
I'm not paranoid every time
your name pops up.
And so, I search for you.
I wonder,
If I made the moves..
Would you be there, and could I
count on you not to take it out
on him?

This is my apology.
For not waiting,
for not caring,
for not being fair to you.

I have been you.
And while we may have different ways
of dealing,
I know what it's like.


If you read this,
I'm just too sorry.